Sides

Show off Rolodex to New Man. See how it is alphabetized? I say. He says, thank you, Great, what is the next project? Become huffy but realize that he thinks that rolodex expected, not a feat. Can't think of next project. Hear myself say, I can organize old programs, in an over-eager way. Do not feel eager and am very disappointed in my need to please. The old programs are in heaps in the Rat Room. Even thinking Rat Room gives me the feeling of cold water trickling down my back. There is no light in the rat room so one must bring a flashlight and put a brick in the door so that it doesn't lock behind oneself. The contessa says she is Afraid of the room and can't go in, but she will hold the door for me so that I don't get trapped. She also offers to hold the flashlight. Am very jumpy. While moving a box, a paper rustles and I let out a tiny scream. This causes the contessa to scream too and drop the flashlight. We calm ourselves. (think that fear of rodents is very unoriginal and would much rather have a creeping horror of poodles or bicycles). Once calm, moving the boxes going fine until think about the Cask of Amontillado. Afraid that Contessa will play a practical joke and slam door on me (it doesn't happen). When emerge from the rat room with many dusty boxes, dirt in hair and grime on hands, Hilary calls. Says she is sending Sides. This forms strange image in head. She can't possibly mean mashed potatoes and braised greens but don't want to ask what Sides are (why?) Remember that meant to cancel screen test as don't want to act, but in the moment, on the phone, what I want most is hilary to not be mad at me (why?) Say, Great, I can't wait for the Sides. Wait by fax machine. Sides turn out to be, disappointingly, pages from a script. I am to audition for the part of Barista in, what seems to be, a very poorly written independent film. Once, tried to have a real barista job but got sent home after two hours. But I trust (again, why?)that in the screen test there will be no real espresso machine or customers.