Homonyms

See man on train this morning--he is heavy set, wearing shirt that says Phrack Magazine, and baseball cap that says I Read Your Email. Feel that if he has read my email he has undoubtedly met with disappointment. Brain then has fun with word Read. Meaning of hat changes slightly depending on whether Read is pronounced Reed (I continually read your email) or Red (I have read your email). Finally decide that I Red Your Email is more sinister because it is more specific and might be referring to a particular email. Suffer extreme pangs of nonspecific guilt. Thankfully, brain--for once--rescues me from pitfalls of guilty, depressive thoughts and reminds me of similar homonym pair, Polish. Am always filled with delight when see word on sign, i.e. Professional Car Polish and read Poh-lish (of Poland)instead of Paw-lish (to shine).

Checking In

Due to holiday schedules and the friday closing, last week was basically a bust and after this week will be on vacation for 2 weeks, but did wish to make brief report of how have spent time. Have very clear picture of self last week telling the Contessa that one thing nice about the summer and the heat is that I don't feel like eating much and thus have to exercise less. This theory soundly disproved on Sunday when find (in Brooklyn backyard of Dave's former salon co-owner) that have gobbled down 1 chicken thigh, 1 burger, 2 hotdogs, an ice cream sundae, and about 10 two bite brownies from Whole Foods--all this washed down with more or less a gallon of beer. Later at home, tell Dave that my stomach hurts. He raises an eyebrow at me in a way that I think means, No wonder you big pig. When accuse him of same, he vociferously disagrees, and would have taken him to task for it, but had to go lie down flat on back. This week could hardly keep mind focussed on work, but yesterday did become extremely involved in rumor about mouse infestation in the office. Susan says that Jesus, the maintenance worker, found three dead mice underneath the big recycling bin in the copy room. Cindy Stevens says that she heard something in the walls. Susan firmly that she thinks she saw a tail disappearing under her desk the other day. Oliver says that he left a banana on his desk on Monday and now it is Gone. Oliver's contribution absolutely ridiculous, but manage to hold tongue. Spend next couple of hours in office very jumpy and feel more than a little ridiculous when Jesus comes in and I breathlessly ask him about the mice--How does he think they died? He tells me that he was just joking with Susan. Am oddly disappointed.