Night of 1,000 Trials

Am extremely tired last night, so go to bed early, 10 p.m., read new Domino magazine --which makes me anxious and covetous--eyes start to droop, and throw magazine to floor, turn out lights, roll over on side and expect to be asleep in mere seconds. Am hot. Kick off covers. Dave turns his light off and hear him breathing deeply. Jenny does the same on her little bed on floor. Feel icy breeze up leg and back. Roll over and cover self up again. Become hot. Pee. When get back, Dave asks, What's wrong? Tell him tensely, I am trying to sleep. Attempt deep yogic breathing and arrange limbs in Sivasana. Think that the English term is Corpse Pose. Thoughts follow dark path. Recall self and attempt to breath evenly and deeply again. Begin to calm down and feel meditative. Hear distant yet piercing alarm sounding in regular rhythm of beep-beep-beep! (pause) beep-beep-beep! (pause) etc. Sometimes it sounds like the alarm has been shut off. Enter strangely exhausting and thrilling exercise during which and strain ears to hear if it will come back on again. It always does. Cover ears with pillow. Become hot. Roll over, kick off covers, huff out air and open eyes to stare at ceiling. Roll over, close eyes. Mosquito whines in ear. This morning, tell self firmly that next time am similarly struck, I will Get Up.