Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Elevator Etiquitte

After retrieving mail from box, get on elevator last night with unfamiliar neighbor holding familiar dog on leash. Dog familiar because only has three legs and is a honey colored pit bull, seems friendly though feel irrational fear at sight of breed. Don't like to be prejudiced, so am overly forward with dog, putting out hand to be sniffed and hopefully licked instead of mauled (which is what unhelpfully occurs in bloody detail in head). What happens instead is that Dolly--learn name of dog because of owner's cries, Down Dolly, be nice, down Dolly!--jumps up and licks my face, balancing on her one hind leg. Am impressed and charmed, Dolly calms down, and feel glad that all has worked out for the best. Unfortunately, elevator seems to be taking inordinately long time ascending, and to fill the silence Dolly's owner observes, You got your New Yorker today! I never get mine until Tuesday! This would be perfect time to ask for her name, but then I would have to say my name in return, and only thing that want to do is get off elevator immediately, so instead say, meaning to tell joke--You must be being punished for something. Joke--if it could even be called that--naturally falls flat. Elevator creeps up. Am so mortified that can't even apologize. Do say Goodnight brightly, but Goodnight given in return decidedly and deservedly chilly.


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