Monday, June 27, 2005

Freud

Work on Murder Mystery this weekend. Write scene at beginning of book in which main character, Emiliano (like Zapata), faints in Cuzco, Peru and is caught by war photographer named Parker. Parker an attractive man who, after catching Emiliano, is snatched away and flirted with by bossy older sister Adelita. Reread what have written and realize that not entirely unlike own life. Bossy older sister Sigrid getting married in August and perhaps subconsiously belive that there is only one Man to go around and Sigrid got him. In reality do not want her fiance for self at all. Have discovered that he has very bad foot hygiene. But think, not for the first time that the subconscious has its own agenda. Take break from work on book to read an alarmingly jaunty article about visiting Alaska before it melts. Think tone is utterly inappropriate. Also think about worldwide distruction. Panic. Am reminded that Freud wrote that the fear of death is actually the fear of sex. This sends thoughts to gay pride parade, which I am not attending this year and which I don't fear. Do fear the Heat. Am undoubtedly deceiving self once again.

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