Starlet

Evening takes a strange turn after Matthew Brookshire show. Am sitting in front of Caffe Vivaldi drinking beer with the Contessa and Dave, when very thin, blond girl--hair back in tight ponytail and held back in headband, wearing white dress and clutching Blackberry--seats herself at our table. Or rather she falls into seat, tossing large portion of wine in her glass into Dave's lap. She takes napkin from purse and pats his thigh, apologizing in a slurring way. She give up the job and looks up at Dave. You're beautiful, she says. (Feel that this tactic--if judiciously used--could come in handy when find self in tough inter-personal fix.) You're not just beautiful, you're Hot, she continues. Girl--we find out her name is Alix--next turns her attention to the Contessa who she also declares is Beautiful. Alix says, If you were a Lesbian I'd sleep with you. Even if I wasn't a lesbian. Feel that it is my turn next, so am very surprised when she turns toward me and says, why are you looking at me that way. I can see the look you gave your beautiful friend. You hate me, don't you? Tell her that I don't even know her. In fact, do hate her, but she has a lunatic glint in her eye and feel like don't want to be hit with Blackberry. She tells us that she is a TV actress, so she knows what hot is. What show? Dave asks. She replies, I was nominated for an Emmy--then she corrects herself--No, not an Emmy, the other one. The Golden Globe? the Contessa offers. No, Alex replies firmly, the Teen Choice Award. After much slurring, and another moment when she a) angrily accuses the Contessa of drinking her wine--glass is empty and she says, I don't remember drinking it. b) Hitches her dress up high enough so that her underpants show--am terrified of being attacked again, so don't say anything. (Am also, am ashamed to admit, extremely fascinated by her behavior.) c) she tells us that her TV show is actually an internet show. Do you know Michael Eisner? she asks mysteriously. She is finally retrieved by friends, one of whom apologizes for her. Have distinct sense that this is not the first time he's had to do the same. We get up and leave before she decides to come back outside again. Note to the others that She's what is known as a mean drunk. She's what is known as a crazy person, the Contessa amends, shuddering--Imagine if we lived in LA and everybody was like that. Think this is an extreme exaggeration.