The Contessa's Bad Taste

The Contessa calls to say that she has news about the Vice-Boss and that she (the Contessa) is coming over Right Away. Am very impressed and excited by this news, and can do absolutely no work waiting for her arrival. On her way in, she is waylaid by Oliver. Can't hear what they are talking about and am sufficiently annoyed by having to wait that finally get up out of chair to see what the chit chat is about. What are you talking about? I ask. Oh Nothing, the Contessa says, turning me around and leading me into my office, where she shuts the door. She says, I never realized that Oliver was Cute before. Am shocked and horrified and appalled say so. The Contessa asks if I look down on him because he is a secretary. Certainly not. Try to change subject back to the Vice-Boss. The Contessa says she really doesn't have any news, only this: The Vice-Boss wearing black today and she has Dandruff (check shoulders--shirt light, so results fortunately inconclusive). That's all? The Contessa puts her chin in her hands. Does Oliver have a girlfriend? Reply in chilly tone, I don't think so, but I don't really keep up on his social life. She asks, How much younger than me is he? I tell her. Six years? she asks, sounding more interested rather than less. Tell her that Oliver is a very difficult person. She says that she likes difficult. Now feel she is just being perverse and tell her sourly that I have a Meeting to go to. She replies, Well la-di-da and your meeting! Draw me a unicorn! she adds, which I consider very low indeed.