Changes

Have first iced tea of the season today with the Contessa, who tells me that the New Man has quit and that Jackie is gone too...to parts unknown, she adds sinisterly. Alarmed, ask, I hope she's OK. The Contessa replies that all she meant was that Jackie moved to Accounts Payable. Ask the Contessa how she feels. She replies, The one I really feel sorry for is Jackie. I should have know how this would turn out, the Contessa says. She has two bright splotches of red on her cheeks and she takes a very vigorous suck through her straw. Ask, How should you have known? She answers, Remember the Fart Machine? Do remember the fart machine, but tell the Contessa that unpleasant though the experience with the machine was, do not think it even in the same ballpark (surprise self by using sports metaphor) as cheating on your fiancee. The Contessa says She Guesses Not. She has other news. Because the New Man has left, she, the Contessa, has been asked to take his place, at least temporarily. Tell her congratulations--she'll do an excellent job. You know, she says, I'm afraid I'm becoming the Vice-Boss--I've lost the love of my life and now I'm getting the Vice-Boss's old job. Fear that the Contessa is having an emotional setback. Ask her when she starts. She says right away. She looks worried, but in a less heart-broken way, and asks Do I think she's going to have to wear suits now? Remind her about the lady who used to work at the school who had tattoos all over her face.