e-mail laws

Receive charming request from Rita Idoman, a widow in the Cote d'Iviore (her husband was killed by rebels for as she euphamisitically put it political reasons) requesting my help in getting money from bank so that she can buy a new machine to process cocoa from her plantation. This the usual scam, but find it much more persuasive and melodic in French. Have frivolous idea that will write to Senator Clinton and ask her to please pass internet law that requires all spam to be in French. Mention idea to the Contessa who then becomes crass and tries to translate Barnyard Fun into French. Adds that emails with the subject line, Lose those extra pounds?--which she says always fills her with unspeakable shame--and the shame makes her full of another kind of shame--namely that One Shouln't Worry about One's weight, etc. etc.--actually ought to be rendered in Cantonese as lose those extra pounds undoubtedly just as nasty in French.