Retreat Part I

Wake up in a very good mood. Remember that today is day of the retreat. Feel sick. Take shower. In shower, recall that ebay auctions over. Rush to computer to check to see what have won. Lose the rug, but win the Depression-era bowl and bedside lamp. Pleased. Pack bag. Load in dried apricots, cashews, Cliff bars, and two oranges purchased for trip. Take out cashews and apricots, eat half of each bag while chugging coffee. Run out door. Stop by deli to purchase flowers as hostess gift. (Mean to keep edibles for self and Contessa.) Buy Carnations, because cheapest. Intend to meet the contessa at the Atlantic Avenue train station. When get to Atlantic Avenue station, alarmed to see many many national guardsmen in camoflauge holding M-16s. Enter elaborate fantasy about boarding Last train out of New York. Become convinced that the Contessa will be left behind. We will have to say goodbye (forever) through the open windows of the train. Except that windows don't open on LIRR trains. Dramatic farwell unnecessary because Contessa comes walking down platform, lugging enormous bag, purse, tennis racquet and garment bag. What did you pack? I didn't know what to pack so I brought some things to choose from. Says she needs four pairs of shoes, two skirts, a dress, two pairs of shorts and a couple of bathing suits to choose from. Plus products. Become suspicious. The Contessa not overly careful with dress or toilet for work in office. Last year she only brought a purse and small backpack and didn't brush her hair once. Further questioning reveals that she plans on leaving from the vice-boss's house to go to Justin's in Shelter Island. Become alarmed. Say, You'd better not ditch me. I can't be alone with Them. The Contessa swears on her mother's grave. We settle ourselves into our seats. Have made insincere plan to meet up with the New Man on the platform of the Jamaica station. Have every confidence that the platform will be mobbed and that we sill miss each other. At Jamaica, New Man finds us with no trouble and says so in excited voice. Now we can talk all the way out there. Train to East End comes almost immediately. Place bag and flowers on rack above us. The Contessa has a tense words with man in tweed coat about how much of the storage rack each deserves. Tennis racquets get pushed back and forth. Detente reached somehow. The Contessa sits down. Train rolling down tracks. Water starts dripping from rack above. Man in tweed coat very upset. Accuses the Contessa of having Something in her bag that is leaking. Feel very glad that the leak is not my fault. Watch exchange with amusement. Experience creeping realization that own Carnations dripping. Get up and take flowers down from rack. Apologize to man. This does not make him behave. He says several vulgar and sacriligious words. Say, I'm very sorry, meaning to communicate that I'm not at all. The Contessa puts head against window and falls immediately asleep. Rest of train raide takes two or three weeks. Talk with the New Man about Weather, the School, and the city in the summer. Try to talk about Television but the new man Doesn't Watch. Forced to admit to self that conversation went so well last time because of the introduction of wine. Embark on very long conversation about Toner. Wish had a small drink or small gun. Check watch and see that it is only nine o'clock. Am appalled with self for even thinking about drink. (Being appalled doesn't stop thinking. Tell self that no chance of procuring drink anyway as have not thought to bring any and barcar nonexistent.) Finally arrive at station in Amagansett. Take taxi to house. Knock on front door. Nobody answers and we let ourselves in. See vice-boss and her husband out by pool in back yard. Husband flushed, no shirt, swimming trunks, belly protruding, speaking in very agitated tone, What do you mean you invited the office to come this weekend? When were you going to tell me? The vice-boss holding paperback in her right claw, raises it in a thretening manner, says, Why don't you listen to a word I say? Look at the Contessa. She similarly paralyzed. Watch as New Man walks to the backyard, uncomprehending, shaking hands and kissing cheeks.