Insomnia

Awake at uninspiring hour of 4:30 a.m. to the sound of Alarm going off. Panic subsides, very slightly, when realize that alarm not in apartment. In extremely angry manner (scalp prickly and space behind eyes very hot.) Drag on pajama bottoms, t-shirt, dress boots (as easiest to put on.) Walk out into hallway into bright light of hallway. Identify door from which noise emitting. Knock on door with much less force than necessary to get anybody's attention, especially given volume of alarm (which sounds every five seconds.) Gather up courage and knock firmly. At same time, recognize alarm as Carbon Monoxide alarm. (CO often referred to, sinisterly, as the silent killer -- though not, in this case, entirely accurate.) Imagine worst (multiple versions). (Much later, see that Imagination, as always, out of proportion, very like time that while lying in bed thought that eardrum had exploded. Debated going to emergency room or not, died and buried self several times, each time sucessively more maudlin with larger audience of mourners. Woke Dave up. Told him in very serious way that in Severe Pain. Dave turned on light and said in businesslike way, Let me See. Pain, mysteriously (and embarassingly), eleminated by mere act of turning on light. Dave said, very firmly, Let's go Back and not Worry anymore. After several more minutes of panic and indignation, fell into deep sleep). Wake up Dave. Ask whether I should call 911 or not. He says that I should try 311 first. Do so. 311 says, impressively, This is an emergency call, let me connect you. 911 and fire department operators brisk and efficient (toy with idea of becoming operator.) Five minutes later, enormous firetruck pulls in front of building, sirens going and lights flashing. Several dozen firemen in full regalia storm hallway. Think that will need to use axe at very least, but most probably battering ram (small version as seen on Law & Order) to be break down door. Firemen open door with no trouble (have special key?) and turn off alarm. Ask what was the matter. Fireman says that the Unit Needed a New Battery. Looks displeased. Inside apartment, tell dave, Better Safe than Sorry. He mutters string of syllables which wish to believe is his agreement.