Fistgloves

Receive fistgloves in the mail last night. Look like large black balloons with nubs (to fit the thumbs). Feel ashamed of self but not sure why. Am slightly disappointed in the quality of the gloves. Feel was tricked into paying ten dollars plus shipping ($7) for something that must have cost two and a half cents to make. But also feel that if it helps swimming, will be worth it. At lunch break while getting ready to go to the pool, fistgloves fall out of bag. The Contessa shrieks, What are those? Explain her her the principle behind the fistgloves--that instead of using the hands like paddles, the Body is trained to cling to the water with what is provided (a fist.) The Contessa says, I think it looks kind of kinky. Become upset. SAy. Don't be like that. Like what? There isn't anything wrong with S& M. People pay thousands of dollars to be wrapped in latex. Do not think this deserves a response and leave office. At pool, follow instructions, filling balloon half with water then sqeezing in hand. Hand has alarming aspect, as though it has been amputated. Swim one lap. Rubber threatens to cut off circulation and hand gets very hot. Swim one more lap, hand feeling more like a stump with every stroke. Rip off fistgloves. Become aware that somebody is talking to me. It is the New Man, in the Fast lane. Says, Do you do TI too? Say No, in shocked voice. Think it is very presumptuous for New Man to ask me. Start to swim again. No longer care to know about the New Man's kinks. At end of swim realize that TI is short for Total Immersion.