Messes

Arrive at subway this morning and discover that wallet is missing. Have been pickpockedted, have dropped wallet down sewer, have forgotten wallet at home, have flushed down toilet, it is in my bag and I just can't find it. It is determined that it not in my bag (not before an embarassing display on street corner; curse, mutter, and rustle through bag and am not surprised when mother pushing stroller gives me the hairy eyeball.) Go back to apartment and begin the hunt for the wallet. It is not in the kitchen, on the desk, on the table in the entry. Begin to drag closets. Piles of laundry are thrown out into the hallway; become hot and depressed about state of life. Jenny thinks we are playing a game. She begins romping around with dirty laundry in her mouth. I speak to her sternly and she slinks off. Go downstairs and ask the doorman if anyone Turned In a wallet. (Note: have interesting experience of practicing speech before speaking to doorman--couldn't decide whether to say Found or Turned In; feel that this is clear example of often debilitating shyness). The doorman does not have wallet. As we are talking remember old trick of asking oneself where one last saw the thing one has lost. Remember taking out garbare and paper recycling before leaving earlier. Take elevator up to landing to investigate. Check paper recycling first--do not relish thought of sorting through trash in basement. Thankfully, discover wallet in paper recycling bin. Initial relief gives way to dismay when see that wallet is touching crusty tuna fish can and when take wallet out, smell strong odor of beer. Compose sharply worded note to fellow members of the 13th floor, drawing their attention to the signs above the bins which clearly note which is for paper and which is for glass/cans. Would like to crawl back into bed and have Jenny join me for the day (know that she would be willing, despite earlier misunderstanding) but have meeting to attend at work. Arrive at work sweaty and grumpy. Run into the Contessa in the elevator. She shows me her hand. Snap, What am I looking at? Notice vintage ring with gigantic diamond. Gape.