Toner

A reader, codename MW, was kind enough to write in yesterday. Would like to encourage any other readers--current or former Secretaries or no--to drop a line. The commenting process is a bit daunting, requiring Registration, etc. so the alternative is to simply email thirtyyearoldsecretary@yahoo.com (Does one put a period after ".com" if it comes at the end of a sentence? Sure that there is a place on the web to look things like that up but when online am far too tempted by reports of ecological Armageddon or of Tom Cruise's increasingly erratic behavior. Speaking of looking up proper usage online, apologies for the continuing hideous grammar and spelling. Am actually Very educated and know all of my tenses and know when to use a gerund or not despite proof to the contrary.) While on the topic of writing in, would like to note that I've bought the site thirtyyearoldsecretary.com and have discovered how to get you from there to here with no work on your part (the apex of my technological skill thus far, by far.) So if you have the urge (am flattering self horribly, very bad taste) to pass on the address to somebody, the blogspot portion of the address is no longer necessary. Never liked that part of it anyway, (blogspot, ugh) so good riddance. Back to MW. MW used to be a Secretary, and says that when a Secretary, knowing how to load the toner gave MW "an eerie sense of power." Am maybe less able to look on the Bright Side of Things than MW and am sad to report that rather than conferring power on me, toner makes me feel enervated. In fact, recently threw away home printer because of toner problem. Was glad to cut out issue of toner in home life. At the office, toner continues to be topic number one. Thought that we were all caught up with toner ordering but discover this morning that the office printer is out of toner (again! the beast's maw opens onto a bottomless pit!) and as Report on Artists required by New Man, am compelled to go upstais to visit Libby in the English Department. Libby is always good for office supplies. In fact, when she opens her closet, see that she has six boxes of printer toner. Am shocked at the profligacy, and ask how was able to order so much at once (toner Very expensive). Libby says, I just did it. Stunned at how simple she makes that sound and very impressed by the taking of the bull by his horns. Say so. Libby thoughtful enough to show me her newly updated Rolodex (printed labels!), her system for keeping track of the Chair of the English department's schedule (2 paper calendars and 1 computer calendar involved) and her colored pen collection (colors correspond to tasks.) Find performance exhausting. Go downstairs with box of toner feeling inadequete and in need of coffee. Even though feelings still hurt by Contessa's dismissal of my blog yesterday, ask Contessa if she would like an iced coffee. The Contessa, seeing that I've scored the toner asks after Libby. Once this conversational door is opened, we marvel at Libby's abilities in a nasty way. Become friends again in our united disapproval of Libby's superior attitude. For one thing, the Contessa says, it makes the rest of us look bad. Explore this topic further. Forget about coffee. Work selves around to feeling badly about being mean about Libby. She Can't Help it. Remember coffee. Contessa offers to buy me a coffee instead of the other way around. The Contessa makes it back in time for our staff meeting. At meeting give Report on Artists to New Man. Am profusely congratualted and thanked on job well done. Have mixed feelings about this as the task wasn't hard, just boring, and feel a little like somebody being praised for being able to tie his shoes. Vice-boss says that she and the New Man will be out for much of the summer but will be "checking in" now and then. We should plan on a few days at her house in Amagansett in July for the "annual office retreat." (Note to self: bring lots of food.) New Man asks me what projects I will work on since the summer promises to be very slow. Find that head is totally blank. Was planning on getting a lot of reading done, but this probably not what New Man wants to hear. An horrified to watch myself offer to "redo Rolodex. With printed labels." Babble on about how this will be accomplished, making it up as I go. The Contessa wisely keeps her mouth shut.