First Class

Night am very nervous about first class and sleep very fitful. See that am awake in time to attend 7 a.m. yoga class and am very very surprised that do. Surprisingly, sleepiness and nerves melt away. When am lying down in Corpse Pose, feel very refreshed and energetic at and even that will very likely win teaching award if not this year then next. Can hear yoga instructor making her way around room and hope that she will give neck a soothing massage. Anticipation turns to horror as feel hands on neck and smell coconut oil. Recieve very thorough massage -- am paralized as wish to scream take that coconut off of me, but know that would cause very embarassing disturbance (similar to time when woman screamed about roach crawling on her at end of class.) Compose very sharply worded email to the director of the yoga center. Wish had the courage to send said letter. Leave class with hair slick with the coconut oil. Would take shower, but have not brought change of underwear. Do not wish to do without. Do best as can with tap in sink, hand soap, and paper towels. Efforts not entirely successfull. Rest of day is spent in dread cut through with moment of extreme, violent anger about the coconut. Finally get to go to class. Before class students seem very friendly. Get to chatting with woman next to me. It becoemes clear that students have not been told that other professor can't teach and that I am the teacher. Smell of coconut very strong, probably because of blush which has started at face and crept to extremeties, heating up oil. Extricate self from conversation with neighbor by abruptgly falling silent, marching to the chalk board and writing name. Tell class about accident with other professor and that I am going to teach the class. I am looking forward to working with you. Here is the syllabus. Any other questions before we start? Yes? One man is very upset that he hasn't been told of the change. He wants to know who has decided this and why. Fortunately, can feel the rest of the class turn on this this man and see that if am at all sane I will win. Say in sacchrine voice that can certainly understand that he is upset. He keeps up his end of the bargain by turning red and saying very sardonically, He may as well stay until the end of the class. Have sharp reply to this, but bite tongue. Rest of class goes relatively smootly. After class hear self telling upset gentleman that it seems he is too avanced for this course. He agrees. Is only here to brush up on the books. Probably he could teach it himself. Go home feeling a strange mixture of enervation and excitement and immediatly take scalding shower with lots of shampoo and soap.