Talking to Others

Wake up this morning to discover that there is no milk. Throw on clothes and leave house without first taking Jenny, which seems cruel, but also know that need coffee before taking a trip to the park where am sure to have to talk to other dog owners. In hallway, however, find neighbor waiting for elevator. Neighbor historically very very friendly and brisk--once found self being invited to his apartment to see the view and to meet his cat named, disturbingly, Tom Cruise. Today neighbor asks, Is it Cool in Your Apartment in the Morning? Answer, Not really. Adding, unhelpfully, The sun shines in. (Fortunately, stifle impulse to say, It's Always Cool in My Apartment, in hep cat voice.) Conversation continues, painfully, until elevator comes. When get in, give firm look to side wall hoping to stop further talking. The elevator stops at every floor. Discover that know far more people in building than had ever imagined. Wish had not worn beloved, but baggiest, and most stained t-shirt. When return from store with milk, see hall neighbor waiting in lobby. Have You Tried the New Bagel Place? he asks. Answer, yes, The bagels are good. (Feel that Small Talk a belittling term for what is often a very, very difficult task.) Later, get onto train. Sit down next to mother and father with two small daughters. The adults are speaking Spanish. Smile at darling toddler closest. She smiles back. I look at my book (Gilead, which alternately love and am bored by; everybody else loves it though, so boredome probably just indication of inferior literary taste.) Discover small hand waving in front of my face. The little girl is offering me her slice of apple. Reply, No gracias, in tone reserved for talking to small children (wish same tone could be used for all strangers). The mother smiles. Little girl takes her apple back and then pretends to take a bite. Offers it to me again. Say No Gracias. See that we could be engaged in this game for the rest of the trip. The same thought seems to occur to the mother, because after two more rounds the toddler is picked up and deposited on the other side of her mother, where she wails and throws what is left of her apple onto the floor. Very often wish could do the same.